Monday, May 31, 2010

How do you think?

Why can’t we just think in isolation, without the 'so-called ‘help’ of catalysts? My man, he cannot apparently think without smoking. Some friends of mine can’t come up with ideas unless they wash down their throats with mugs of coffee. Some need alcohol, some food and I need gallons of water in the shower. I ‘think’ in the shower. These days, I’ve been trying more eco-friendly methods like making bigger pots of cha. That seems to work ok.

What do you do to think? And I am not talking about taking a walk, jogging etc. Those I think are- clearing the mind- activities. I am here, asking you, what is your thought catalyst?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Back to Basics

I want to go back to basics. I want to give up this materialistic, misery inducing life and go to my village and start farming....erm or may be organic vegetable gardening. (Its time Orissa got its due anyway.) You guys can send me my monthly rations of Lush, Body Shop, and chota-mota gadgets that I might need from time to time. With time, I'll get over those too. As it is I’ve given up a lot of things. Like you, my loyal readers will rightly remember my tryst with the very fragrant Keo Karpin Body oil. I’ll soon out grow all this.

Dad has been waiting for mum to signal yes, just once. And I know in no time he’ll pack lock stock and barrel and head straight to Kanachchanda, my native place. Oh, it’ll be so grand to live together once again. (And right now it is annoying me no end to know Kanachchanda is not listed on Wikipedia, even under villages of Jajpur district, Orissa.) What of my family? Oh well, SHE can follow her mother if she wants to and HE can really stay back in Sydney and attend barbeques and watch ‘House’.

While, I walk on the banks of the river Kharasrata, have moonlit dinners on the ancestral home’s terrace, cook straight out of a chulha , and live happily ever after. No magazines to lure me, no shopping malls to bring out the Lucifer in me, and no more friendship requests on Facebook.

And I really believe I can do this, and do it well at that. And maybe , maybe, one day, I’ll be the queen of organic farming and both, Orissa and I, will get the much deserved attention and admiration, we’ve been craving for in a long long time.

(Back to Basics KG, Limited edition)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Déjà Vu in a piece of blue

A monkey cap covering the head and ears, 4 layers of thermals, a wrap of woolen stole around the neck, fleece track pants, knee length woolen socks, gloves – like a warrior walker, I go for my early morning walks at the crack of dawn these days. But with the weighing scale telling me, nothings gonna really change, I asked the universe on Sunday morning,  if she was planning on rewarding me for all this bravery (try waking up at 5.30 AM for a walk in peak winter, and you qualify for – because she braved the cold – award). I decided on giving up on this early morning schedule if something really awesome didn’t encounter me that morning.

Threatened that she’d lose my august company every morning, the Universe decided to make Sunday morning especially special. On my way back from the walk, I did something I never do- rather, I leave this job for the man. Checking the mail box. Who would write to me? Or shouldn't it be, who writes these days, anyway? Apart from banks and credit card statements and bills, there really is nothing usually in the little wooden mail box.

letter2Assumed too fast. Turned out, something awaited me, after all.

Amongst an assortment of junk mail and pizza flyers, lay a quaint looking aerogram – in that lovely blue that reminded you of times long gone. All the way from the sub continent, with two priceless stamps of a legend, Satyajit Ray, this rectangle piece of blue stirred in me, a kind of mirth I hadn’t experienced in a long time. 

I didn’t tear it open, like I used to, as a teenager. Partly because I had forgotten where/how to tear it open. I fussed over it, read the addresses – to and from – and sat on my porch. As I untied my shoe laces, I kept smiling, looking at it. Like a guest I had just received from the railway station, I let the Aerogram rest awhile, after the long sojourn it had undertaken for me. Meanwhile, humming on a Geeta Dutt number, I made cha. Then, opened this little overseas visitor, with excitement I could barely contain, and waited for it to tell me all.

 

letter1 Inside, in perfect handwriting, dad had written little bits of news I already knew of. (Inasmuch as I appreciate the speed of technology and its efficacy, isn't there a strange joy in learning of some news from a handwritten letter instead of hearing of it over telephone? (or even worse- from a pixilated Skype window).  But I pretended to learn of it anew. Apparently my uncle and aunt with my cousin are planning on a Himalayan holiday. Also, he wrote with unmitigated sincerity that he and mum had not been going for their morning walks since 3 days, all because of excessive cricket and adda. Dad also expressed his doubt over my postal address, specifically about the spelling of my street name. Evidently, he had cared to check and found the spelling I had mentioned was after all, correct. :D

The sky blue paper was full – not a little space left even to so much as add, a dot some where. Exactly the way I like letters to be. Corners, sides, little spaces – firmly packed.

That missive now lies next to my bedside, inside Obama’s ‘Dreams From My Father’, on the 67th page, like a bookmark. Akin to how my granddad marked the Bridge books he read. (Have you encountered something similar in your life? Opening books from your grandparents to find old post cards and inland letters strategically placed.

Thank You, Dad. I hope this is the first of the many you’ll eventually write to me. Those emails you type to me don’t feel half as lovely as the ones you write, literally. Do keep this dying art alive!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Men and gifts

Mother’s day in these countries are so big and blown out of proportion, that I am sure most men feel pressured to do  (read: buy) something for their wives (mothers). I didn't want my man to be coerced into doing something or give into conformity behavior, just because the world was doing it, or every window in the shopping mall asked him to do it on Mishmash’s behalf. Besides, I always feel, such things can be expressed best subtly and simply by just letting the mother feel special the entire day- a cup of tea, surprise breakfast…you know little things like that.

So I decided to take it head on a few back-

Me:  Listen, don’t spend money this Mother’s Day, pl.

Him: Ok. Won’t you sulk?

Me: (Ignoring the latter comment, I go on.) My biggest treat will be u and Mishmash making me a meal…and keeping the home clean..just that one day.

Him: cook? clean also?

Me: Something basic ya. The idea is for me to keep off the kitchen. And cleaning …not much. Jut keep the cushions in place….the kitchen bench top clean..Mishmash’s toys in place, beds made….u know small stuff like that. Not vacuuming and all…

Him: *looks in disbelief*

Me: What?

Him: with pleading eyes he begs-  Pleaseeeeeee…let me buy you something instead?

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Thursday, May 06, 2010

First time interviewers, interviews in general and all the gas that goes with it.

I am not an interview expert. But I have given enough and more of them to understand the WTF nature of (some) interviewers, especially those interviewing the first time. Some worst case scenarios:

The first time interviewer type 1- Psychographics : This person has no idea what it takes to interview a person. He /she is so overwhelmed by the whole idea of interviewing someone for the first time, that they often take it as a personal vendetta against the poor soul sitting across them. Its more of a commemoration  and reminiscence of the first time they were interviewed when - they were attacked mercilessly. Years later now, the sides of the tables have changed. Its time to revel in the feeling of being the supreme being called the interviewer. So the main plan is to get the interviewee to squirm, go red in face, see them stammer, stutter, go blank. His/her purpose is achieved best if the interviewer can find a weakness to latch on to, and then go on questioning the person around it.

The first time interviewer type 2 – Psychographics: This person is shitting bricks, has no idea how to go about it, and is terrified by the CVs they have received for the job, especially of the one they need to interview, one of which seems far capable than him/her and ergo, intimidating. What kind of questions does this person ask? None- he ends up talking about himself, his job responsibilities, his achievements and by the fag end of the interview realizes what’s happening and in a flurry and suddenly acquired authoritative voice asks, go on, sell yourself to me.

The first time interviewer type 3- psychographics:

This person comes for an interview armed with the ‘ HR best practices’ questions. This person will ask these questions in this order: 1. Tell me something about yourself. 2. What are your strengths? 3. What have been your biggest achievements? 4. what will you do when…..blah blueh bleh (gives the interviewee a situation..most often it is a crisis management question or a question to check on the interviewee’s attitude) 5. Sell your self to me…..and this goes on

Note: the interviewer here is not one bit concerned about how the interviewee fares. This person is too busy drafting the next question in his mind for the interviewee. By the end of the interview the interviewer is more exhausted than the interviewee.

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So much for the first timers.

But besides them, I have issues with the way interviews are conducted at all. By the time a person is out of the complex web of psychometric related questions he/she has forgotten what job they had applied for. Apparently these psychometric tests give the employer a ‘sea’ of information about the applicant.

See, my point here is not that these questions are pointless. But i believe a lot has changed in the professional realm- people today come prepared with these questions. So chances are that (mostly), the answers they give are not the one they believe in one bit- but a forged, padded answer that bests suits the role advertised for. Especially for a question like ‘sell yourself’ .  When I was asked once, so in a situation where everything is going wrong, how would you react- did she expect me to say that I will probably be pulling my hair out, yelling and hating the job??

Don’t you think it makes more sense for the employer to put the interviewee at ease, and then try and understand from the applicant’s point of view  all the things he needs to understand.

Somehow, I don’t subscribe to the school that believes an interview is but a sales pitch.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

The ‘Autumn of My Life’, already?

I spotted the first, many days back,
but chose not to notice it.
Then today, I saw rows of them,
neatly seeded and shiny.
Bounteous patches,
happy and ga(re)y.

Some said,
'lack of care'
others (to humour me) said, 'genetically predisposed'.
Methinks,
its the epoch of the ‘Autumn of my life’.

Those grey strands of hair-
they mock and say,
'this marks the beginning of another innings,
in your scintillating and wondrous life'
.

But I haven't let panic set in,
no, I haven't superannuated, yet.
So, bring them on-
shades of red, brown and blue, if you please.
There isn't a way, I'll let Grey take over,
and  let wisdom prevail with such ease.